I waited until after Christmas to shop because there was too much going on for me to settle down and do the research for a gift for myself.

Yesterday morning my PC was so slow that I decided there was no better time to pick out a machine.

I’d never shopped at Micro Center and I have no desire to put my own machine together but a few people had recommended them and my schedule was open. After looking at their website, I decided on their G412 and saw that the local store had one in stock. Score! I planned on zipping down there, asking a few questions, and walking out with my new toy. I was damn near giddy at the thought. I had visions of re-organzing my zillions of photos and finally having a machine that would run the current version of Photoshop without upchucking or making my blood pressure rise. Yes, these are things that I find exciting. I embrace my inner nerd.

Anyway, I nearly skip into the store with a copy of the computer’s specs in my hand. I find a salesperson who said that machine was overkill for what I wanted. “It’s for high end gaming or 3D graphics. We may be able to build a machine that is a little cheaper and better suited for you.” Ok, whatever, let’s go.

Hah! You mean I have to pick out everything including the case (“This one looks really nice because it has a display window and lots of mesh.” It’s going to sit on the floor and end up covered in dust and dog fur, I’m pretty sure that window doesn’t help me.) and the power supply to which I said “I drive a minivan, I can assure you that I have absolutely no opinion on a power supply. Which one would you sell your mother?” I don’t understand why people find car engines appealing to look at, I don’t need a window to watch the dust collect inside my PC, and I just want a freaking computer! (Note: I will not by a Mac, never remotely considered it, and I don’t drink the Apple Kool Aid.)

After over an hour and a half, I’m wishing I had packed a lunch because I was feeling weak from either low blood sugar or a severe case of “broken give-a-damn.” We finally have a list of all the components totaling a hundred dollars or so more than the machine I came in for and a cart full of boxes and we proceed to customer service where I have to wait in line for 15 minutes with everyone who’s making Christmas returns because there’s only one person working in the department. By this point, I’m scanning the store looking for someone, anyone, who might be a manager who can help and seriously considering calling them on my cell phone while I’m still in line.

When it is finally my turn, I have to unload all of this crap onto a counter that’s too small. There’s no checkout-line efficiency like the clerk being able to come over and scan the items in my basket. And then the total doesn’t match the amount on my itemized sheet! The clerk just kind of looks at me like “And your point is?” I tell her that I’m about to walk out of the store empty handed so she begrudgingly starts to look for the discrepancy. It turns out that the cost for the operating system wasn’t included in the itemized list to the tune of another $130. Homey don’t play that so I tell her “I’m done. You can keep all of this,” and walk away. I wouldn’t trust these people to put together a set of Legos let alone an appliance I’ll live with for the next 4-5 years.

Before I left I located the manager to let him know just how miserable my experience was and that the inefficiencies of their operation cost him a sale. I tried not to be rude but the gist of it was “I walked in here ready to happily spend $1400 on a PC. Instead, I’ve wasted two hours of my life and this company has never and will never get a penny from me.” I don’t think any employee did something wrong but they did a lousy job of managing my expectations.In case you’re too young to know the origins of “Homey don’t play that”–